They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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