plz talk dirty to me
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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