after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
