Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
