she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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