He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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