I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
