enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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