Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
