Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize