There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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