She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
