Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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