His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
