She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
