I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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