Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
