So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
