Whod you bang
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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