ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
