So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
