So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
