can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
