Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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