everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
