She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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