Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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