So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You should frame my arrest warrant.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
