she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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