well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
