People in love make me want to vomit
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
