This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
