It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
