So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize