stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.