I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
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I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
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new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.