i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
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The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
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Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities