I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.