i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.