so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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