Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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