I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
