ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
