Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
