ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
