No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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