feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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