is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...