she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
