i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you