Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

RUDE.

(248): View more from Michigan

I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

outsmarted mickey deeeees

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(248): do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions. (1-248): RUDE. (248): I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o. (1-248): outsmarted mickey deeeees http://tfl.nu/mqmo

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(203): View more from Connecticut

thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.

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(203): thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number. http://tfl.nu/71o2

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(360): View more from Washington

just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college

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(360): just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college http://tfl.nu/r8zm

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(614): View more from Ohio

My ATM looks so different sober.

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(614): My ATM looks so different sober. http://tfl.nu/aska

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"

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(774): she's crying while babbling "all i do is win" http://tfl.nu/5fua

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(903): View more from Texas

Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.

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(903): Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication. http://tfl.nu/g1e0

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(805): View more from California

I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed

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(805): I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed http://tfl.nu/07h0

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(409): View more from Texas

The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.

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(409): The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens. http://tfl.nu/kai5

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.

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(814): you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door. http://tfl.nu/6ofj

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.

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(608): I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/60pl

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(513): View more from Ohio

Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.

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(513): Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude. http://tfl.nu/aac3

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(813): View more from Florida

This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.

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(813): This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny. http://tfl.nu/7jk5

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(325): View more from Texas

So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.

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(325): So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it. http://tfl.nu/zi6y

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(630): View more from Illinois

So what's going on?

(1-630): View more from Illinois

We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.

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(630): So what's going on? (1-630): We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid. http://tfl.nu/vkkl

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(727): View more from Florida

You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.

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(727): You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest. http://tfl.nu/2kj8

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