so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Dating After Heartbreak
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.