i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
