i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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