I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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