I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
you made out with another girl for some wings
Never underestimate the power of titties
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
