is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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