It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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