oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
