So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
