Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
