Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
