therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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